Ole: So this is Duckworth Lane. What's a Duckworth?
Sven: $6 to $10, unless you want eggs. Then $3 to $6 a
dozen, unless you want to hatch 'em.
Where does ice cream go to get an education?
Sundae School.
On Israel: Two major religious parties claim God gave them a particular piece of property. If God is not a god of confusion, then apparently God intended for both those parties to live together in peace on that property.
If we stop to consider what end result we want, such as freedom from hunger, disease, and oppression, we may be able to achieve our goals. We focus too much on how to get what we want through political, religious, or other socio-economic means.
And wasn't it the end results that God was after when he told us how to treat each other, whatever the religious context?
I was going to start a chapter of the Pessimists Club. . .
. . . but I didn't think anybody would join.
If illogic is bad logic, would illegal be a bad bird?
Or would that be illeagle?
Pro is to con . . .
. . . as progress is to Congress.
For every silver lining . . .
. . . there is always a cloud.
Where would we be now. . .
. . . if we had always gone the way our turn signals said?
Laugh and the world laughs with you.
Snore, and you sleep alone.
I have to agree with my friend Kermit the Frog who says, "Time's fun when you're having flies."
A house divided against itself. . .
is probably a duplex.
"I used to be schizophrenic . . .
but we're fine now." ;))
There are three kinds of people in the world:
Those who can count, and those who can't.
I am NOT paranoid.
Everybody really is out to get me!
The first three things to go with age are:
1. Your memory;
. . . and I can't remember the other two.
One genealogist to another: "I spend so much time on family history! If it weren't for my ancestors, I don't know what I'd do."
"If it weren't for your ancestors, you wouldn't have to worry about
anything."
"How do you call a squirrel?"
"Climb a tree and act like a nut."
"I've been so busy since I retired! I don't know how I used to have
time to work!"
Pure drivel drives out ordinary drivel.
I used to be a standup comic . . .
. . . but everybody kept telling me to sit down.
